文书写作Why school 段落案例展示

在写择校原因的时候，大多数同学往往会陷入一种惯性思维的误区：一定要提及甚至编造一个在某某专业学习过的朋友，学长，亲戚等来加强“我”与该研究生项目的联系。其实不然，在我看来，why school的陈述就像是一段对研究生项目的“告白”，因此，该部分正确的打开方式应该是：“我”喜欢贵校的项目，不是因为“我”的身边人都说好，而是因为“我”看到了贵校项目独特的闪光点而深深着迷。所以说，与其挖空心思，兜兜转转地从“亲戚朋友”身上寻找“我”与专业的“缘分”，不如坦率真诚，大大方方地赞美专业的“优秀之处”，讲述其对“我”的吸引力。

今天#心动的文书#栏目，给大家分享往期三位学员的优秀案例，与大家探寻如何另辟蹊径，把择校原因表达得更加真诚和扎实，呈现出一份高含金量的personal statement。（下划线加粗为好词好句，大家可以收藏积累哦~）

叙述“亲戚朋友”的故事vs点明感兴趣的专业课程及其对“我”在知识积累和能力提升上的帮助

Before

One of my course teachers is an expert in the financial industry, and he introduced The Hong Kong Polytechnic University and several eminent researchers who graduated from this world-renowned university. Influenced by this professor, I desire to pursue in-depth learning in finance and accounting in your postgraduate program.

After

Accredited by the Royal Society of Biology, the Master of Science in Biomedical Sciences offered by the University of Glasgow has always been my ideal choice. Your program aims to equip students with state-of-the-art knowledge and cutting-edge techniques in biomedical sciences. 【开头一两句强调项目的荣誉和教学目标，并表明“我”对该项目的喜爱与追求】Your curriculum lists a series of attractive courses. The Molecular Genetics of Disease will enable me to probe into pathogenic mechanisms from the aspects of molecular biology and biogenetics. In learning Animal Models of Diseases, I can develop animal models of human inflammatory and infectious diseases. 【列举两门专业课程，并陈述“我”能从中获得的知识】Also, I prefer Detecting Biomarkers for Precision Medicine Applications and Viruses and Cancer, which cater to my learning interest in the precision treatment of cancers and tumors. 【突出课程与个人研究兴趣的契合度】I am confident that your distinguished program will bring me a qualitative leap in my knowledge and skill.

叙述“亲戚朋友”的故事vs突出学院的前沿研究课题/导师的重点研究领域

Before

After

Considering The Hong Kong Polytechnic University as my dream school, I aspire to enter your Master of Science in Accounting and Finance Analytics program, which aims to equip students with interdisciplinary knowledge of accounting and finance and develop their data analytical skills.【开门见山，直接表明“我”想要申请的决心，并强调项目特色】 Your well-designed courses will introduce me to the sub-areas of accounting and finance, spanning from risk analysis to company valuation and portfolio management. 【陈述项目课程能够带给我的收获】Meanwhile, I will seize precious chances to participate in major projects. For example, I gravitate to Dr. Mike Fung’s research project: “Relative Performance Impacts of Non-Strategic and Strategic Media Coverage: Do Investors Rationally Ignore Possibly Biased Messages from Strategic Media Coverage?”. Besides, I am intrigued by the research orientations of Dr. Ji Mingming in Financial Analysts, Banking, and Corporate Disclosures.【突出“我”感兴趣的学院前沿课题，以及导师研究方向，更鲜明地展示“我”的研究兴趣与动机】 By participating in those major research programs, I look forward to keeping abreast with the latest research dynamics and achievements in the financial and accounting fields, strengthening my professional knowledge foundation, and honing my programming skills, making thorough preparations for my doctoral study.【陈述参与项目研究对个人能力提升和未来深造的积极影响】

叙述“亲戚朋友”的故事vs强调对于项目资源的关注

Before

I got acquainted with a senior proceeding with his postgraduate study at your prestigious university. While chatting with him, I knew that your program excels in both teaching and research, attracting learners from different countries and regions. As I learned more about your postgraduate program, I am eager to enter your program for in-depth learning and research.

After

It has always been my dream to study in the Master of Science in Drug Discovery and Development program at The University of Leeds. Your esteemed program exposes students to a range of fields spanning the pharmaceutical industry, including pharmacology, biochemistry, chemistry, clinical research, and pharmaceutical commercialization. 【强调该项目广泛的研究/教学领域】 Studying in your program, I will be taught by experts from the multidisciplinary Astbury Centre for Structural Molecular Biology. Learning from medicinal chemists, structural molecular biologists, and pharmacologists, I will gain the skills and knowledge to succeed in a multidisciplinary environment. 【强调“我”对于学院师资力量的关注】More notably, closely linking with the pharma industry and the clinical trials unit in the Faculty of Medicine and Health, your school will give me valuable real-world insights into drug discovery and clinical drug development. 【强调“我”对于学院行业资源的关注】Undoubtedly, your full-fledged postgraduate program, boasting robust educational resources and leading faculty, will not only strengthen my knowledge foundation and professional skills but also expose me to frontier and focused research areas in drug discovery and development, supporting my academic and career development.