心动的文书

Internship experience 是perseonal statement中很重要的一部分内容，然而大部分同学在为期短短几个月的实习中从事的都是基础性的工作，因此写出来的PS往往是先流水账罗列所做的工作，紧接着在技能提升和经验积累方面盲目堆砌不相关的内容，充斥着套话（锻炼了专业能力，提高了逻辑分析能力、问题解决能力、沟通能力...），但过于堆砌、刻意的强调容易被招生官认为是“走过场”，那么这份经历就很有可能成为减分项。

首先要明确的是我们在简历中已经写清楚 “「我」做了什么”，那么在PS中写实习经历的目的就是在简单陈述“「我」做了什么”的基础上充分展示“「我」怎么做”以及“「我」收获了什么”，而这三者之间是无法割裂的，“「我」的收获”必须基于“「我」所做的事情”以及「我」怎么做，有理有据，方能服人。

今天#心动的文书#栏目，将与大家探讨如何将实习中的技能和收获与由此积累的经验一一对应，以整合成一份事实依据与结论总结俱全的personal statement。

方法一：着眼于小点，谈能力增长/行业认知

01╱ Before╱

It all started with my internship experience at Shenwan Hongyuan Financing Services Co., Ltd. Working in the investment banking department, I was involved in an IPO project of a Beijing technology company on the Science and Technology Innovation Board and was responsible for collating the issuer’s and its subsidiaries’ accounts and the subsequent reconciliation with the corresponding bank vouchers.【简单阐述工作内容】During this process, in addition to consolidating my auditing skills and improving my data handling skills, I gained an understanding of the financial situation of different companies.【收获：提高审计技能和数据分析能力，并了解不同公司的财务状况】Meanwhile, I found that there were still many problems in the implementation phase of the accounting-related systems. Only by further deepening the construction of the relevant systems and finding an effective balance between the effectiveness of accounting information and the standardization of processes can the overall level of accounting be further improved【认知：会计相关制度在实施阶段依然存在问题】. It awakened my desire to consolidate my professional skills further and broaden my career vision.

02╱ After ╱

It all started with my internship experience at Shenwan Hongyuan Financing Services Co., Ltd. Working in the investment banking department, I was involved in an IPO project of a Beijing technology company on the Science and Technology Innovation Board, during which I achieved plenty of first-hand and unique insights into accounting. 【简单阐述工作内容】My main task was collating the issuer’s and its subsidiaries’ accounts and the subsequent reconciliation with the corresponding bank vouchers. However, the separate operations of the issuer and its subsidiaries and the interfacing with different banks resulted in different journal standards and bank voucher formats. This difference from the way I had previously been taught about preparing audit drafts made me inefficient. For this reason, I wrote a Python program that enabled the splitting and combining of Excel sheets, thus solving this problem successfully. 【详写一点工作内容：凸显“编写一个Python程序来提高审计工作效率”这一个小点】

In retrospect, apart from the theory-applying and problem-solving abilities trained during this experience, the practical experience in combining accounting knowledge with information technology also informed me that the informatization of the accounting industry would be an inevitable trend 【从具体的实践经验中获得的能力提升以及对行业发展趋势的认知】. Such a trend, in turn, placed greater demands on future accounting practitioners【引申至人才发展要求】. It awakened my desire to consolidate my professional skills further and broaden my career vision.

03╱ 解析 ╱

原文只是简单阐述了「我」的工作内容，紧接着就阐述了「我」在实习经历中的收获和认知，咋一看内容很丰富，但细看就会发现这些收获和认知毫无根据，因此并不具备说服力。

修改后的PS用了“总-分”的结构，在简单阐述工作内容的基础上，以一句“获得对会计行业的第一手见解”总引下文；下文则开始详细阐述「我」编写了一个Python程序来解决会计工作中效率低的问题，由此来体现「我」的理论应用能力和问题解决能力。同时，这个小点是会计知识与信息技术结合的很好体现，由此引出的「我」对会计行业趋势的认知就不是空穴来风，更具说服力。

当然，实习经历中可以写的小点有很多，比如学会用一个软件，数据分析能力 up，或者接触了一个新领域，学习能力/适应能力 up，亦或者阅读相关工作报告/行业分析报告/相关书籍: 将阅读的内容转化成从工作中对专业/行业的理解......

方法二：着眼于不足，谈未来改进目标/学习计划

01╱ Before╱

During my tenure as a customer operation manager at China Ping An Property Insurance Co., Ltd., I was mainly responsible for daily market research, interbank funding policies and customer purchasing groups analysis, and writing business analysis reports 【阐述日常工作】. Besides, in a service providers customer acquisition and traffic attraction project, I led a team to analyze the current customer acquisition methods and calculated the annual target customer acquisition based on the growth of customer acquisition for service providers currently working with each channel. Accordingly, the problems in the model were revealed by measuring the gap between the achieved and target values and comparing the cost input and profit output of each channel service provider. In response to the shortcomings of the model, I proposed improvement strategies 【详写了一个项目：重点放在分析过程上】. Personally, my data analysis and strategy development skills were greatly strengthened 【收获：数据分析能力、决策制定能力】.

02╱ After ╱

During my tenure as a customer operation manager at China Ping An Property Insurance Co., Ltd., I was responsible for daily market research, interbank funding policies and customer purchasing groups analysis, and business analysis reports writing, which significantly developed my acumen in analyzing business issues 【因为基础工作大多是分析类工作，所以在列举基础工作的基础上还简单提了从这些工作中获得了能力提升】.

Particularly worth mentioning is that in a service providers customer acquisition and traffic attraction project, I led a team to explore the existing customer acquisition and traffic attraction models on the issue of the decline in customer acquisition in recent years. We found that the traditional channel was overfunded in the model through massive data analysis and put forward improvement strategies, including reducing service providers' investment in customer acquisition and traffic attraction, developing new cash discount investment policies, and investing more cash discounts in younger customer groups, which won the directors' praise 【详写了一个项目：重点放在改进策略上】.

Policy analysis skills were necessary to capture industry orientation. But during my initial strategy development, I ignored the impact of the government’s regular comprehensive reform of the industry on market product prices, resulting in a deviation in the service provider cost input and profit calculation. It showed that I still have much room for improvement in policy foresight. Hence, I was urgently eager to further boost my comprehensive development through a postgraduate-level public policy study 【在策略制定中发现自己的不足之处，再次强调深造的必要性】.

03╱ 解析 ╱

上述经历用于【会计】跨申【公共政策】的文书中，因此，如何让经历更贴合申请项目是重点也是难点。

原文虽然在简单阐述主要工作的基础上详写了一个项目来体现「我」的数据分析能力和决策制定能力，但其实该项目过程既没有提及处理了多少数据，也没有涉及用到数据分析工具，并不能体现数据分析能力；而策略制定也写的很模糊，一笔带过，所以原文读起来特别像流水账。

修改后的PS则重点放在该项目的策略制定上，突出针对具体的问题提出具体的策略，来体现「我」的决策能力，更具说服力；其次，考虑到是跨申，在突出能力的基础上，PS中还陈述了一个【弱点】来加深「我」的申请动机：即缺乏政策预见性，在战略制定过程中忽略了政府定期行业综合改革对市场产品价格的影响，导致服务商成本投入和利润计算出现偏差，所以「我」想要通过在这一领域深造来获得综合发展。

方法三：着眼于问题反思，谈辩证思考

01╱ Before╱

To put what I learned in class into practice, I actively sought opportunities to take internships. For instance, I once worked for three months in the new media center of People’s Daily, where, where I was responsible for writing and compiling articles as well as editing videos 【简单称述工作内容】. During this period, the most memorable experience was when I read an article named Large-Area Display Textiles Integrated with Functional Systems published by the team of Peining Chen and Huisheng Peng in Nature and proposed to choose it as our new topic, which was approved by my manager. However, when preparing the English manuscript, I was overwhelmed by how to understand the breakthrough precisely. Therefore, I searched through numerous related articles and actively consulted professionals. Hard work pays off, I gained a basic understanding of their findings and eventually completed the report 【详写了一个具体的工作，突出工作中的一个难点】. In retrospect, this experience honed my writing skills, innovative spirit, problem-solving abilities, and operational competence, which will be of great benefit to my postgraduate study 【总结实习收获】.

02╱ After ╱

To put what I learned in class into practice, I actively sought opportunities to take internships. The most unforgettable one is my work in the new media center of People’s Daily. My major responsibility was to write and compile articles as well as edit videos 【简单阐述工作内容】.

Once, I observed that the team of Peining Chen and Huisheng Peng published an article named Large-Area Display Textiles Integrated with Functional Systems in Nature. Inspired by this exciting finding, I proposed to choose it as our news topic and won the manager’s agreement. However, things don’t always go smoothly. There are several problems in the later work. For instance, it is difficult to understand the breakthrough precisely as a layman and promote it to the public effectively. After referring to a large number of relevant articles and seeking advice from professionals, I had a basic understanding of their findings and finished the report in the usual forms 【详写了一个具体的工作，突出在这个工作中的两个难点】.

Though I finished the task, I still thought there was some room for improvement in my article. This work also broadened my understanding of science communication and public engagement. On the one hand, because of a lack of systematic training in science, journalists and editors introduce scientific findings and knowledge in order to inform the public rather than make the public understand. On the other hand, without the support of communication theories, Chinese scholars and researchers cannot attract the masses’ attention to learn more about science. That’s why there is little public engagement in science communication activities. Hoping to contribute to the mutual understanding between scientists and the public, I aspire to equip myself with cutting-edge science communication theories at your distinguished university 【对工作中遇到的问题进行的反思】.

03╱ 解析 ╱

上述经历用于申请【科学传播】，因此，PS中的经历不能按照一般的传播学文书来写，而如果能够在实习中从真实的经历谈对【科学传播】的认知是较为出彩的。

原文的重点放在具体的工作阐述上，可以看出是想通过描写应对遇到的困难来凸显解决问题的能力，但在结尾处所谈到的创新能力、写作能力并没有很好体现，因为并非从他人的文章里汲取灵感并以此作为新闻主题就是创新，并非写了几个稿件，写作能力就一定能得到很大的提升...招生官想看的并非是这些空话，至少能够有事例去佐证。更何况从事英文稿件的编译和视频剪辑方面的工作本身就需要一定的写作能力、创新能力，这些工作其实就是能力的侧面体现。

而修改后的PS前两段内容虽然与原文大致上没有差别，但在表达上做了一些优化，更具可读性，情感也更加强烈，而非平铺直叙；其次，修改后的PS在将大部分篇幅放在的问题反思上，从传播工作者、学者和研究人员以及公众等不同主体思考公众很少参与科学传播活动的原因，使「我」的能力和思维更和谐的体现在一段经历之内；同时，由思考再次强调申请项目的motivation，从而体现出「我」很清楚未来的发展方向。这样的处理，把实习内容和申请专业之间联系得更加紧密。